I guess like so many people, there is much about myself that I have grown to dislike over the years. It’s generally not a conscious decision we make. After a few rejections, we start to cover up and hide bits of ourselves. We start to become the people that we know will be accepted, wanted or loved. But if we believe that God created us uniquely and perfectly, then we are hiding His creation. We are selling ourselves – and Him – short. As Godfrey Birtle would sing, we become eagles in the chicken coop. And that’s not what we were designed for. We clip our own wings and stop ourselves reaching the heights we were destined for. There’s a Nicole Nordman song that says, ‘Guess it’s no surprise that I’m no Michelangelo. Every layer of mine hides a lovely design. It may take a little patience. It may take a little time. But I am starting to see me, finally! You call me beautiful. When you saw my shame, you placed me on the wall anyway!’
Bringing our thinking in line with how our Father sees us is easier said than done. But it is something I am hungry for. I know there is more for me if I walk in the fullness of who He wants me to be. These past few weeks have been a journey of discovering those hidden parts in an attempt to step into who I am meant to be, rather than the person I seem to be. God has been doing great work in my heart – particularly along the lines of coming into sonship. It is an interesting journey of not only understanding who I am in Him, but coming to a place where I believe it so much that I walk in it. To a place that it becomes who I am in every situation that I encounter. I guess you could call that place home. My prayer right now is in trusting that what He’s started He will bring to completion… because my journey home is far from finished. I know I am not really home until I can celebrate it – and celebrate who I am. And I guess it is all part of walking out my healing. I can know in that secret place who I am – but it needs to become a lifestyle that manifests in everything I do and say. In reality, there is still a chasm between who I see myself as and who I am. His Word about me is truth. God is giving me glimpses of who I am – and I am gaining boldness to walk in it.
It is a process, but I believe I can fly!
